Remember - You Are Your Own Best Advocate
What does it mean to advocate for yourself?
Being your own advocate means that you ask for what you need while respecting the needs of others. For example, if you are at a store and a clerk ignores you, you are able to ask in a polite way to be served. Self-advocacy is asking for what you need in a direct, respectful manner.
Why is this skill important? Self-advocacy helps you:
- Obtain what you need
- Make your own choices
- Learn to say no without feeling guilty
- Express disagreement respectfully
How to Advocate for Yourself
You become a self-advocate by taking the initiative to ask directly and specifically for what you need. When you ask, you are polite. You listen to the other person's response without interrupting. You are patient, knowing that change might take some time. If you feel nothing is changing despite your best attempts, you ask for help from a parent, teacher, or other adult. Here are a few ideas to help you advocate for yourself. You may want to practice them with
a friend or family member.
- Take a deep breath. Deep breathing gives your body lots of oxygen, and oxygen helps you feel calmer and think more clearly.
- Think about what just happened. Before you react to something someone said or did, think about it a bit. Ask yourself questions such as: "Did that person really mean to bump into me, or was it just an accident?" or "Is the clerk really ignoring me or is she just very busy? Maybe I need to be more patient."
- Think about what you want to be different. Before you talk to the other person, make sure you know what you want to happen. Do you want to be treated differently? Do you want that person to stop doing something?
- Speak clearly and slowly. Start by saying something like, "I would like to talk with you about…" and then calmly describe how you see the situation.
- Let the other person speak. Being a self-advocate doesn't mean that only you talk. The other person needs a chance to respond to what you are saying. If that person becomes impatient, try to stay calm and take a deep breath.
- Don't expect immediate results. Change is not always instant or lasting. Sometimes it takes many conversations with the other person before anything changes. You may even have to remind the person more than once.
- Ask someone to help. There may be times when you and the other person cannot agree or the other person becomes unreasonable. One of the best parts of being your own advocate is that you don't have to solve all the problems on your own. You can and should ask for help. Asking for help is also advocating for yourself.
When to Advocate for Yourself
You may need to advocate for yourself in many situations. Here are some times when you might need to stand up for
your rights or make sure your voice is heard. You may want to role-play these and other scenarios with a family member
or friend:
- A substitute teacher hands out a test. You have an accommodation to take your tests in a quiet room, but the substitute does not know this. How do you respond?
- Your bus arrives and someone you don't know offers to help you go up the steps. You don't want to be rude, but you would rather not have help, even if it takes you a few minutes longer to board and take your seat. How do you respond?
- You have a reading tutor who works with you in the library's learning center. The tutor has been late three times and is late again. How do you respond?